Ruth Marie Crow

"I love you more, Dear." Even when Alzheimer's disease stole most of Ruth Crow's ability to make her thoughts known, one of the last sentences she could articulate was the one her family loved most to hear, her signature way to say "I love you." She died surrounded by her family at home on Valentine's Day, 2016.

Ruth Marie Rush Crow was born on June 13, 1925, in Valley Falls, Kansas. It's fitting that many streets in Ruth's hometown are named for pioneer women. Ruth was a can-do, no-nonsense, hard worker who had use for neither slackers nor layabouts. She made things happen.

With the goal of becoming a USAF nurse, Ruth trained to become a nurse at Jane C. Stormont Hospital when it was in Potwin Place, but she was thwarted by her tiny size, too small to reach the top bunks required for some military assignments, rejected despite her guts, smarts, and daring. She was a proud member of the Cadet Nursing Corps. By her early '20s, she was Supervisor of Surgery at Jane C. Stormont. Later, she used her nursing skills along with her formidable organizational skills to help start the first hospice program in Topeka.

After a chance encounter at Union Station in Kansas City (a fun story re-told many times and re-enacted for their family in recent years), after a whirlwind courtship, Ruth married Sam Crow on January 30, 1948. They shared a great adventure in life and marriage including their shared building of Sam's thrilling career first as a law student, then as a private practice attorney, and today as a federal district court judge. In turn, Sam's fierce devotion knew no bounds in his care for Ruth in her nine year descent into Alzheimer's. To her last breath, he did everything in his power for her comfort with no regard for his own. Friends and family closest to Ruth and Sam know they witnessed a great love story.

Ruth and Sam shared a hunger to learn — to learn just about anything. They shared a love of travel. They explored new places in depth thanks to Ruth's research and planning. Interest in history led to Ruth's study and meticulous record keeping of family genealogy as well as to Ruth and Sam's shared interest in antiques and in Native American handicrafts and jewelry. Ruth took great pleasure in keeping their beautiful home in order and cataloging their adventures. Game for anything with Sam, Ruth played golf, skied, and tended their horses. Together they won a dance contest with a mean foxtrot. Though Ruth couldn't swim a lick and was even terrified of water, Ruth and Sam kept two boats and a cabin at Lake Wabaunsee. She never let a little nuisance like fear keep her out of a shared good time. They loved fine dining — at home, at favorite haunts, and in their travels.

For all of the rewards and joys of Ruth and Sam's good life together, their very highest priorities were always about "their boys", about family as a unit of shared goals and direction. The mother of two sons born just 13 months apart, the wife of a hard-working man who worked long hours, Ruth Crow stepped up to be the kind of mother exemplified in magazine stories of the 1950s and '60s. Ruth served countless volunteer hours for PTA committees and school leadership. When her boys got involved in the church choir, she got involved in the Boys' Choir vestments. She hosted a fully equipped soda fountain to serve neighborhood kids in the family rec room. She welcomed teen garage band practices no matter how much the band members ate. Without exception, every birthday, holiday and landmark moment inspired an event with some fanfare in the Crow home including the magnificent formal family dinner celebrating Ruth and Sam's 68th wedding anniversary just three weeks ago.

Ruth's values were clear and firm. She inspired her boys to live purposeful lives, always with a focus on hard work to achieve success. She discouraged any hint of an attitude of entitlement. She supported self-determination and personal achievement, always with an emphasis on the utmost of ethical and professional behavior. She taught good citizenship as a responsibility, never as an option.

In addition to supporting her sons' interests, Ruth took a leadership role in Republican party politics, working especially hard for family friend Bob Dole. She served as a leader in the Grace Episcopal Cathedral Altar Guild including authoring the instruction manual for Guild members' responsibilities. Ruth was proud of her long-term membership in the Nautilus Club of College Hill, neighborhood ladies educating themselves and each other on myriad topics in gatherings that date back to 1894. Sam and Ruth have been enthusiastic supporters of Washburn Law School, especially scholarship funding. They loved Topeka Civic Symphony and almost every show at Topeka Civic Theatre unless foul language was involved and then Ruth clucked disapproval, incredulous that no other words could be found to make the point. Ruth and Sam both liked aisle seats, so they became a familiar sight at TPAC sitting near the front of the hall at almost every show, one behind the other on the aisle.

As their lives slowed down over the years and Ruth's health began to fail, she never lost her heart for being a spirited girl. When she couldn't walk, Sam helped her manage a wheelchair. When she couldn't talk, she never stopped trying. When nothing else mattered, she always wanted Sam to be near. Always.

Ruth is survived by her loving and cherished husband, Judge Sam A. Crow; her faithful sister, Nancy S. Bond and her children, Jerod J. Bond (Stacy) and Heidi C. Bond; Ruth and Sam's proud sons, Dr. Samuel A. Crow (Cheryl) and Daniel W. Crow (Helen); their thriving grandchildren, Andrew M. Crow (Donna), Melissa J. Crow (Roby Reser), Samantha Ruth Quist (Jake); their expanding generation of great-grandchildren by blood and by love, Anna and Camden Reser, Anthony Cooper and Hope Crow, George and Aria Ruth Quist. Ruth was preceded in death by her mother, Ruth Conser Rush Cline and her step-father, Vansel Cline, as well as her brother, Earl O. Rush, Jr., aka Junior.

In memoriam, Ruth's family has initiated the Ruth M. Crow Nursing Scholarship at Washburn University's School of Nursing via Washburn University Foundation, 1729 SW MacVicar Avenue, Topeka, Kansas 66604.

Family and friends visitation will be 5pm-7pm on Friday, February 19, 2016, at Penwell-Gabel Midtown, 1321 SW 10th Street, Topeka, Kansas. Ruth's funeral service will be at 2pm on Saturday, February 20, at Grace Episcopal Cathedral, 701 SW 8th Street in Topeka, Kansas. Ruth's body will be interred at Mount Hope Cemetery & Funeral Chapel with a full-size American flag overhead, meant to be visible to drivers passing by on SW 17th Street for years to come.

To leave a special message for Ruth's family, please visit the guestbook below.